CHÚC MỪNG ANH TÔ!

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Tháng bảy vừa rồi mình có viết bài “Động viên anh Tô”. Tính đến hôm nay đã có hơn hai ngàn lượt người ngó vào chia sẻ. Chưa kể một số tờ báo mạng đã góp phần nối dài cánh tay đến với bạn đọc. Hôm nay được tin anh cùng 15 “đồng chí anh em” của mình thoát khỏi vòng lao lý. Mình phải có vài lời chúc mừng cho có trước có sau.

May mắn cho anh Tô khi gặp hai em Hằng – Thúy các em đã qua tuổi vị thành niên. Pháp luật nước mình rất nghiêm minh. Mới đây một anh chồng có con với vợ mình còn suýt bị vào “kho”. Bởi lúc ngủ với nhau cô vợ chưa qua tuổi 16. (Thế mà chính quyền xã thấy họ làm đám cưới lại “để yên xem sao”)

May mắn cho anh Tô hai em Hằng và Thúy ở xa Thủ đô không hay Net-neo chit-chat. Nếu các em học tập và làm theo tấm gương của cô thực tập sinh Nhà Trắng –  (chiếc quần có dính “chất đàn ông” của ngài Tổng thống suýt làm ngả nghiêng chính trường nước Mỹ) thì chắc chắn cơ quan điều tra không cần phải mất ngần ấy thời gian để xác minh xem anh và 15 vị kia đã từng quan hệ tình dục với các em hay chưa.

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May mắn cho anh Tô vụ án Sầm Đức Xương xảy ra trước khi luật sư Cù Huy Hà Vũ bị bắt quả tang trong khách sạn với hai bao cao su. Nếu không hai em Hằng-Thúy chỉ việc đem bán đấu giá mấy cái “bằng chứng tình yêu” cũng lo được khối việc.

May mắn cho anh Tô cơ quan điều tra mới phát hiện ra khái niệm “quan hệ tình cảm”. Áp dụng cho những cán bộ đảng viên khi vào nhà nghỉ với các cô gái không phải vợ mình. Việc các em được anh Tô và bạn bè tặng từ vài trăm ngàn đến hai ba triệu cho mỗi lần lên giường hoàn toàn không liên quan gì đến phạm trù “đạo đức” hay quan hệ mua dâm. Lẽ ra các em phải biết “đội ơn mưa móc”.

May mắn cho anh Tô thầy Sầm Đức Xương khi đứng trước tòa lại có giấy chứng nhận liệt dương. Hai em Hằng-Thúy đã “vu oan giá họa” cho thầy Xương thì 16 vị quan chức Hà Giang bị “hàm oan” cũng là tư duy logíc.

May mắn cho anh Tô và bạn bè việc mua bán dâm từ trước tới nay chưa hề có đăng ký kinh doanh. Lại càng không có hóa đơn tài chính. Chẳng như ngài Thống Đốc Bang New York trả tiền cho gái thông qua tài khoản bị dính vụ “mạidâm leak” tai tiếng. Nước mình đi mua nhà còn chở cả một xe ôtô tiền mặt. Boa cho chân dài dăm chục triệu vài ngàn đô chuyện vặt.

Lúc này nhân sự đã an bài. Cơ quan điều tra cũng đã hoàn tất hồ sơ. Anh tuy không còn cơ hội xuống núi nhưng đổi lại vẫn là một công dân giàu tình “nhân ái”. Từ nay anh cứ việc thoải mái “quan hệ tình cảm” với các cô chân dài qua tuổi vị thành niên. Không còn lo sợ bọn “paparazzi” quay phim chụp lén. Thế cũng là góp phần tích cực vào chương trình “Xóa đói giảm nghèo” cho chị em “cơ nhỡ”.

Chúc mừng anh! Chúc mừng bạn bè anh! Kết luận của cơ quan điều tra là món quà giá trị nhất để anh ung dung  bước sang năm mới. Bỏ lại sau lưng năm con Hổ với những “vận-hạn” khôn lường.

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Mời bà con ghé nhà tham gia "bình loạn": Phân biệt sự giống và khác nhau giữa "Quan hệ mại dâm" và "quan hệ tình cảm".

Chủ nhà xin đa tạ!

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